Always Gonna Be An Uphill Battle

"When it rains, it pours."

I feel like that phrase defines my life so much right now. My week started out like any other and than quickly nose-dived into oblivion shortly after. I had an important doctor's appointment this week, and, yet again, it was another dud. I mean how many "inconclusive" tests can you have before figuring out what's wrong. Seriously?

I'm also dealing with a bad sleeping problem. I can't tell if I'm not sleeping because of my nightmares, or my nightmares are because I'm not sleeping. It's almost as if my body attempts to get any sleep at all, it sabotages itself by plaguing me with nightmares. Very vivid, very scary nightmares. All include guns, and all include me getting shot. Not sure how to take this. Any dream interpreters out there? Or anyone know how to actually sleep? I think I've forgotten.

Luckily Emmaus is this weekend. It's the one thing that I am actually looking forward to. Unfortunately that's stressing me out in it's own way. Not only have I been feeling really terrible these past two days, I also still have a lot to do for it. I know it'll all get done, I'm just stressed about it. And to put the cherry on my theoretical cake, a family member passed away yesterday. It was really unexpected, when my family got the late night call last night. I'm just praying that the services don't interfere with my other obligations. The service obviously takes precedence over Emmaus, but I'm really needed there to help out. All in all, I just feel torn.

So this probably the last post for a while. I will be away all weekend and then I will be leaving for Florida next week. I hate to leave on such a sour note. So I won't. I know this sounds REALLY lame, but there has been one song that really helps get me through the day. "The Climb" is just one of those unbelievably uplifting songs. I just need to know that each thing I'm going through is what makes me, not what's on the other side. It's always popping up on the radio, just when I need it to, and I can relate to it so much. I also feel the need to say how thankful I am for my support system. I don't know how I'd do it without you. Wow, I feel a lot better after that.

If anyone thinks of it, much prayers will be needed this weekend for the team, the candidates, my family, everyone. So if you get a chance, just say a little prayer. It is much appreciated.

Peace, Love & God Bless. (I will miss you Aunt Ginnie. <3)