Always Gonna Be An Uphill Battle

"When it rains, it pours."

I feel like that phrase defines my life so much right now. My week started out like any other and than quickly nose-dived into oblivion shortly after. I had an important doctor's appointment this week, and, yet again, it was another dud. I mean how many "inconclusive" tests can you have before figuring out what's wrong. Seriously?

I'm also dealing with a bad sleeping problem. I can't tell if I'm not sleeping because of my nightmares, or my nightmares are because I'm not sleeping. It's almost as if my body attempts to get any sleep at all, it sabotages itself by plaguing me with nightmares. Very vivid, very scary nightmares. All include guns, and all include me getting shot. Not sure how to take this. Any dream interpreters out there? Or anyone know how to actually sleep? I think I've forgotten.

Luckily Emmaus is this weekend. It's the one thing that I am actually looking forward to. Unfortunately that's stressing me out in it's own way. Not only have I been feeling really terrible these past two days, I also still have a lot to do for it. I know it'll all get done, I'm just stressed about it. And to put the cherry on my theoretical cake, a family member passed away yesterday. It was really unexpected, when my family got the late night call last night. I'm just praying that the services don't interfere with my other obligations. The service obviously takes precedence over Emmaus, but I'm really needed there to help out. All in all, I just feel torn.

So this probably the last post for a while. I will be away all weekend and then I will be leaving for Florida next week. I hate to leave on such a sour note. So I won't. I know this sounds REALLY lame, but there has been one song that really helps get me through the day. "The Climb" is just one of those unbelievably uplifting songs. I just need to know that each thing I'm going through is what makes me, not what's on the other side. It's always popping up on the radio, just when I need it to, and I can relate to it so much. I also feel the need to say how thankful I am for my support system. I don't know how I'd do it without you. Wow, I feel a lot better after that.

If anyone thinks of it, much prayers will be needed this weekend for the team, the candidates, my family, everyone. So if you get a chance, just say a little prayer. It is much appreciated.

Peace, Love & God Bless. (I will miss you Aunt Ginnie. <3)

Dr. Strangelove?

Some of you may or may not know that I've been sick with some mysterious illness for the past six months. Yup, six whole months. So as you can imagine I've been through the ringer with doctors. Most doctors you can imagine, I have seen. (Although noticeably absent is a psychiatrist... I know I squashed most of your jokes right there.) I've seen some really good ones (Shout out to Yale Diabetes!) and some really, really terrible ones, who shall remain nameless. One of the strangest encounters I've ever had with a doctor happened yesterday.

I went to a GI specialist yesterday by myself. Older guy, head of the GI program, so never in a million years did I think I'd have a problem. But yesterday was one of the worst days ever, so that should have been my first tip. Anyways, the first thing he says to me when I go in is "Oh, I thought you'd have somebody with you." This sets off the first bell. Perhaps, I should have? So he goes on and takes my history, adds some off color comments here and there, inserts rude commentary, whatever. So we get to the actual exam part. So I have my scrubs on because I was going to work right after, and he repeatedly tells me how tight my shirt is, as he's trying to lift it so he can use his stethoscope. "Ok," I think, "This is a little weird." So next he notices I have religious medals on my necklace. Here's the convo that ensues:

Dr: "What's on you neck? Are those medallions? Are you religious?"
Me: "Yes they are and yes I am"
Dr: "Do you go to church?"
Me: "Yeah, and my mom's the organist"
Dr: (Immediately) "Do you date boys?"
Me: "Um, yeah..."
Dr: "Do you date girls?"
Me: Uh-no.
Dr: So are you allowed to go out?
Me: YEAH
Dr: Are you dating anyone right now?
Me: No
Dr: So you don't have a boyfriend?
Me: No

I wish I could say this was the end of the awkwardness, but alas it wasn't. I'll spare you the details of the more awkwardness, but it was REALLY off-color (and you know it has to be something really personal for me not to talk about it). So here are my questions: should I be dating girls because I'm religious? Or if I wasn't religious should I be dating girls, cause I'm pretty sure I'd still be dating guys even if I wasn't religious? Does it matter if I'm religious? Do my stomach problems depend on whether I date girls or guys? Do I look like a lesbian?

I mean really, all these questions crossed my mind. I was just flabbergasted that someone would even say that to me. That definitely tops the other doctor who every time I called tried to tell me to get my drugs from my pediatrician. He seemed like he's a good enough doctor, but quite frankly I'm not going back unless I have someone with me. Honestly I should have taken up his request for a nurse to be with me. I can't believe a doctor would say some of those things.

Let's just say: lesson learned. Definitely taking people with me to the doctors from now on. Also, needless to say that this just turned my day from bad to worse.

So my question is to the readers out there: Any awkward experiences? Any terrible doctors? Any redeeming doctors out there? Share it (sans-names) and I'll reply back.

Peace, Love & Godbless

P.S. The nineteenth year of my existance begins in less than two hours.