I'm Going Back To The Start

First off, I celebrated my four year diabeticversary on Saturday. Four years, whew. Some days I forget I even have it, others I've tossed my pump down the hallway in frustration. (Note: I don't advise throwing a $7000 medical item. Ever. I also never said I always used my brain.) Even though I don't always like dealing with it, I am thankful for the impact it has made on my life. No one ever said this life was going to be easy, and thank God it isn't. Because I'd be INCREDIBLY bored.

So that was this weekend. Didn't really celebrate too much except for some awesome cupcakes for the "normals" (all relative) and some special ones for me and those who dared to try them.

In other news, another momentous occasion is soon on the horizon.... I'm going back to school on Monday! I'm excited, scared, vomitous and most importantly, ready. I am so ready to get back into the swing of things. However, you know those first day jitters? I feel like catepillars infested my stomach, hatched and now are swarming around has giganto butterflies. Dramatic? I know. But I'm trying to make a point here! For me it's nerve-racking because I'm starting mid-year, commuting and completely changing my major. Also, the school is literally twice the size of Scranton. Plan of action: get there early and try not to get lost on the first day. But we'll see.

Honestly, I can not believe I'm starting all over again. It was rough the first time, but to have to do it again, frankly I don't want to. Today was the first day I realized that I'm not going back to Scranton. And it stung. A lot. I loved the school and the people there. I always loved the sense of community at Scranton. I just hope I can find it here too. I am super duper excited to start my psych classes though. I am not however looking forward to Spanish. It's been a good year since classes, so I am a little rusty, to say the least. Well nothing like diving in with both feet!

I'd also like to make a general note to the public: My pancreas is getting a complex.

If you understand that then, kudos to you.

Peace, Love & God Bless

Note to self:

Sometimes I feel like I forget to live.

It's similar to forgetting to breathe. Ever try it? You may have, but it's always been voluntary. You never clutched your chest because you simply "forgot" to breathe at that moment. Forgetting to live is similar. I feel like there's so many moments that happen every single day, that keep us alive, yet we choose to ignore them or are to busy to notice.

I hate when I do that. Lately I've been preoccupied with my transfer situation. Although I'm happy to report that I am transferring to Southern CT, I still have so much to complete in a weeks time. It's taken so much of my energy that lately I've just not been the same. But then I realize that it will happen. Just as it always does. Today I wished I stopped to enjoy the beauty of the sun rising over the snow-glistened trees, or really appreciated an excited phone call I received this morning. Or even relishing the moments that I feel truly loved, just in this past hour.

My wish for everyone today is that you appreciate the moment. It is so cliche. But seriously, don't forget to live. I do it all the time. But everyone feels best when they're joyful, loved or in awe. Those are the moments that stick with you. I feel overwhelmed when I simply remembered how much I am love and how much love I have for others.

So add it on your everyday to-do list. Life is so worth living when you actually remember to do it.

Peace, Love & God Bless

Dear Friend

Honest, I was going to go to sleep. Then I remembered that I had to let the world in on a little secret.

WATCH DEAR JACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know some of you may be saying that my use of exclamation points might be excessive, but then again, you clearly haven't watched this movie yet. I used this movie to cap off a two day movie marathon I had due to inclement weather. A perfect excuse to be a couch potato. I then subjected my mother to a string of bawl-worthy movies. For example: The Notebook, A League of Their Own and then A Walk to Remember. All really good movies. However nothing got to me like Dear Jack.

Now I know I'm a huge lover of Jack's Mannequin. And I could go on and on and on about how truly awesome the band is, and how you should check out there music right now, also, they are the nicest people on the face of this Earth, and if you really like them, you also like Something Corporate, and that my friend has a huge thing for Bobby Raw Anderson..... Ok I'm stopping. =) Honestly, I truly believe that anyone who likes music and/or a great documentary, will love this movie.

Note: I will use love to describe this movie. Not enjoy. If you enjoy this movie, you are a very sadistic person. Not that I'm judging or anything. This movie defines hope. I can't recall one moment where hope is not present. And that is why I adore this movie. Yes, it is about a musician's fight with leukemia, but through all the madness, it's a story of love and strength, and one again... hope. Some of it was actually taped by Andrew McMahon (lead singer of Jack's Mannequin and Something Corporate) on his own accord. It doesn't leave anything out. You see almost everything. Another perfectly, awesome reason why to watch this.

It's in limited release, but you can find it at various Barnes & Nobles or Borders. Or also in my own DVD library. I will gladly lend it to people, because that is how much I truly believe that everyone should see it. I was so overwhelmed by the whole movie that I had to let you guys know about it. Another great reason to watch it: some of the money goes to his foundation of the same name.

So let me know if you've seen it and/ or any thoughts. Or let me know about song suggestions. =) Shoutout to BRice and Chelsie: YOU'RE FAMOUS NOW!


Peace, Love (Hope) & God Bless

Who I Am

First off, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope everyone had a wonderful, stupendous and safe beginning to their new year. I for one had an amazing time. I played out in the snow, made a fort and a slide down a flight of stairs, and most importantly spent it with those I love. Definitely the most fun I have ever had on a new year's eve/day.

Secondly, I apologize for not posting sooner. But what better way to start the new year off with a blog post. I was waiting to post so I could announce some official news, and then the holidays hit. Love holidays, do not love the busy-ness. Oh well.

Now that I've peaked your interest about the official news, I should probably say something about that..... I'm transferring! It's probably old news to some, but I decided to stay close to home for obvious reasons and I can't stand being away from school so I'm transferring to a school around my area. Not sure where yet but I will be attending for Spring '10. I'm also switching my major to psychology and the Pre- physician's assistant track. Just a little update on my life =)

As most of you know, I deeply adore the Jonas Brothers. The youngest one, Nick, recently came out with his first single from his solo cd. It's called "Who I Am" and I seriously recommend listening to it. It's very soul-y. Honestly it's really amazing. Anyways, he came out with a video for it yesterday and it was NOT what I expected at all. I think it has an awesome concept to it. The basic gist is that each person has more to them that meets the eye.

Now the reason for me drawing attention to it is that Nick Jonas has a sign that say "Who I Am" and flips it around, and the first time it says brothers. The second time it says "Diabetic" and it goes back and forth through different people. And I just thought that was so inspiring. I mean I am a diabetic. That is who I am. But I don't solely think that of myself. I'm a sister, daughter, friend, blessed, Catholic, funny, inspired, and also a diabetic. There's so much more that meets the eye and I believe it's an awesome concept. Kudos on the video. It really is a nice reminder to remember that everyone is going through their own personal struggles.

Here's a link to watch the video:
"Who I Am" by Nick Jonas

Enjoy. Leave comments if you'd like

Peace, Love and God Bless

Always Gonna Be An Uphill Battle

"When it rains, it pours."

I feel like that phrase defines my life so much right now. My week started out like any other and than quickly nose-dived into oblivion shortly after. I had an important doctor's appointment this week, and, yet again, it was another dud. I mean how many "inconclusive" tests can you have before figuring out what's wrong. Seriously?

I'm also dealing with a bad sleeping problem. I can't tell if I'm not sleeping because of my nightmares, or my nightmares are because I'm not sleeping. It's almost as if my body attempts to get any sleep at all, it sabotages itself by plaguing me with nightmares. Very vivid, very scary nightmares. All include guns, and all include me getting shot. Not sure how to take this. Any dream interpreters out there? Or anyone know how to actually sleep? I think I've forgotten.

Luckily Emmaus is this weekend. It's the one thing that I am actually looking forward to. Unfortunately that's stressing me out in it's own way. Not only have I been feeling really terrible these past two days, I also still have a lot to do for it. I know it'll all get done, I'm just stressed about it. And to put the cherry on my theoretical cake, a family member passed away yesterday. It was really unexpected, when my family got the late night call last night. I'm just praying that the services don't interfere with my other obligations. The service obviously takes precedence over Emmaus, but I'm really needed there to help out. All in all, I just feel torn.

So this probably the last post for a while. I will be away all weekend and then I will be leaving for Florida next week. I hate to leave on such a sour note. So I won't. I know this sounds REALLY lame, but there has been one song that really helps get me through the day. "The Climb" is just one of those unbelievably uplifting songs. I just need to know that each thing I'm going through is what makes me, not what's on the other side. It's always popping up on the radio, just when I need it to, and I can relate to it so much. I also feel the need to say how thankful I am for my support system. I don't know how I'd do it without you. Wow, I feel a lot better after that.

If anyone thinks of it, much prayers will be needed this weekend for the team, the candidates, my family, everyone. So if you get a chance, just say a little prayer. It is much appreciated.

Peace, Love & God Bless. (I will miss you Aunt Ginnie. <3)

Happy World Diabetes Day!

Today, November 14th, is World Diabetes Day! In other words, everyone should go find a diabetic and hug them. Preferably trying not to hit the buttons on their insulin pump if they have one....

I feel like today is a holiday. And it's not even one of the holidays that makes you feel bad for being single. Double whammy! Today I will eat every sugary thing I can get my hands on and then chug a gallon of OJ and regular soda simultaneously. (Ok, maybe not chug, more like drink it through a straw.) Then I will not check my sugar all day and then not give myself any insulin. That will really be a huge FU to diabetes!

Alright, you caught me, I kid, I kid. That would actually be a TERRIBLE idea. Not to mention I'd have the hyperglycemic hangover of the century. Think of a drinking hangover, and then having to pee every five minutes on top of that. Yeah, that's exactly what it is like.

But seriously, I think this is a great way to spread the awareness. I read that 2.8% of the US adults don't even know they have it. I know that number sounds insignificant, but think of how many people already have diabetes, and how many people there really are in America. It is EXTREMELY simple to find out if you do. Just a simple finger prick can tell you, or a blood test, or even a urine test. Believe me, it's a lot better finding out you have diabetes sooner than later. The later part is what can really kill you. In honor of today, please bring awareness to this disease. There's no cure, but there's an awesome treatment. Knowledge is power!

I figure I would post some of the symptoms, but don't freak out if you have to pee all the time. I did before, and I still do now =). These are all general ones, and I had most of the symptoms listed.

Symptoms for all diabetics:
-Unquenchable thirst
-Extreme Hunger
-Frequent trips to the bathroom
-Losing weight without trying (I lost 15lbs. in two weeks)
-Weakness and Fatigue
-Numbness or Tingling in hands, feet or legs
-And sometimes T2's have no symptoms at all

Again, this is not the end-all-be-all of symptoms. But do me a favor, if you do have a lot of them, as least get checked out. You owe it to yourself, and really this disease is not unbearable. I hope that people at least realize that much from my blog. If you do find yourself with the disease, you will manage, and there's a whole lot of us out there. I'm always here to talk!

Today is a great way to appreciate those with diabetes and those with other life-altering illnesses, that are still waiting for a cure. (Little shout-out to my sister with Celiac's Disease- Love ya and hope you're having a gluten free day!) I hope & pray that a cure will be found for diabetes and all other life-altering illnesses. To all the diabetics out there: enjoy this day and try to remember the positives Diabetes might have done for your life! =)

Peace, Love & God Bless

Rolling my sleeves up

I feel like I have a lot to say today. Maybe it's the gorgeous weather that has inspired this sudden spark of interest today? Maybe it's just my brain on over-drive? Maybe it's even that medium fry I ordered earlier? Well, all the same, I've been inspired.

I recently read in article in the Parade magazine about Type 1 (T1) diabetes becoming more popular. Ok, sounds normal enough. Except, T1 diabetes hardly gets the publicity it deserves. Many "normals" can't even tell the difference between the two. Unfortunately, in the event that they think they do, they usually describe it as T1 is where the little kids get it and type two (T2) is the one only fat people get. Both of the descriptions are misleading.

Truth: T1 diabetes is mostly diagnosed in younger children. It was formerly known as "juvenile diabetes," however, older people are diagnosed with it. I was 15 when I was diagnosed with diabetes. I have even had people come up and ask me if I got diabetes because I ate too much. (How rude!) Elliott Yamin, who came in third place on American Idol, was 16 when he was diagnosed with diabetes. I've heard of others in their 20's, and rarely, but it does happen, even later in life. 5-10% of diabetics are T1's.

T1 diabetes is when your pancreas produces no insulin. This means that in order to live, a diabetic HAS to take insulin through shots or a pump. T1 diabetics can not solely use medications and diet to control their disease and there is no cure. It is irreversible. You have to have a genetic pre-disposition in order to get it but there is usually an environmental factor that sets that gene off.

Truth: T2 diabetes is also genetic but depends highly on environmental factors. Having a family history of T2 diabetics is a huge risk factor but only if there lifestyle is not healthy either. You know those people you envy for being able to eat as much crap as possible, not exercise, and still be stick-thin? Well that's not doing the person any favors. Eventually it does effect there body, and if they have a genetic pre-disposition to T2, they very well could develop it. The reason why T2 is most commonly diagnosed in over-weight people is because the extra weight makes there pancreas work extra hard. Therefore, their pancreas is not producing enough insulin. Not all T2's are overweight, which I also want to make clear. And not all overweight people have T2. T2 diabetics can reverse the disease is some cases if they change their lifestyle and follow a strict regimen. Most T2 diabetics are put on pills, and many take insulin too.

Note: There is a blood test to differentiate between the two types. (Side note: there is also gestational diabetes and pre-diabetes but I'm not getting into that now.)

So back to my original rant. I use to read every diabetic article I could find in magazines and newspapers, but almost all of the time it is about T2. Not that it's not important, because it is, but I can't help but be offended that T1 does not get much attention. Even magazines dedicated entirely to diabetes mostly concentrate on T2. But I also think that the media is not doing nearly enough to squash the myths that are floating around, either. A lot of things out there are very misleading for both parties. I've had many people come up to me and say just down right rude things because they just don't know or understand. Unfortunately it is also very difficult to disagree with them after they've read something. Yes, I can have this bag of chips, I am the one living with the disease... just saying!

Oh, I definitely had a lot to say today.

Peace, Love & God Bless

P.S. Apparently today is dblog day (Diabetes blog day). I found this out after I posted. I guess I really was inspired by something else today. Also, this Diabetes Awareness Month. Make sure your loved ones get tested and make sure to hug a diabetic!